Growing Up

Hello all, sorry its been so long.

The first semester of college is complete and I am once again home united with my lovely friends and family to celebrate one of my favorite holidays in the year (Christmas!) =)

One thing i've learned wile being away at school is how important family really is. Wile living at home I took advantage of having a family, and thought mine was so horrible. Going to college has helped me come to the realization that I should be grateful to have a family. There are some people who don't even have a family to go home to on the holidays and would do anything in the world to take my place.. I was so selfish and didn't understand how important these people were to me. Since I realized this I've been trying to connect bridges, hoping to make our relationship stronger. It's time to fix things before it's to late...

Sometimes in life it takes stepping out of our comfort zones to realize what needs to change in our lives. In my case I needed to go away to college to realize how bad my relationship was with my family to be able to fix it.

I am so grateful for what God has done in my life this past semester even though my relationship with him hasn't been all that great. He has used many people to reveal his love and mercy on me through all the good and bad times wile living in a new place the last 4 months. God isn't done using and shaping me to become the person he wants me to be and I just know that this next semester I'll grow and mature more then I have thus far. I have great friends at my school now and with there help we will grow in the Lord along with our friendship as we take on each and every day of the new year.

Prayer Request..

My relationship with the Lord has been pretty bad the last few months, since i went away to school... I really want to go grow in Him more and find my calling.. I kind of feel like he is trying to lead me some ware but I'm not to clear as to ware He is leading me. This next semester I'll have 11 classes and I know it'll be even harder to find time for God in my everyday life.... Please pray that I'll be able to manage my time properly, and that I'll keep my eyes open to ware God is calling me to go. Thank you!

God Bless!

I am doing a project in one of my classes and I thought i would do it one Music Therapy. I want those who have never seen nor heard of it before to see the amazing power that music really has. This is a video that i found today and I really wanted to share it with y'all. I hope you enjoy it. :) The link bellow will take you to the video.

Nordoff-Robbins Music Therapy Video Portrait (Part 1)

Nordoff-Robbins Music Therapy Video Portrait

college life

So i am set and have adjusted to my new home. :)

Orientation for college started last friday and man did they keep us busy!! It started friday and ended monday and let me tell you, I am so grateful i went to that because it has really helped me with the transition from high school to college. We did a lot of really fun stuff along with bible studies and i got to know a few people. :) They would have stuff for us to do from 8 in the morning to midnight! isn't that insane or what lol, but thats college for you. :)

One night there was an ice cream social at midnight for the freshman and they tried to great the longest banana split and we all had to stand side by side to eat it. It was funny!! Another night we had Karachi at the schools church or you could call it the BSM building. That stands for the Baptist Student Ministry. We had worship in there earlier that morning, then it turned into a restaurant type thing, (thats ware we ate dinner), then it turned into a pretty sweet coffee house for Karachi. it didn't even look the same on the inside.

But anyways i have met a few cool people and i can't wait to meet more!

Here is something funny for you... lol So last night i went to work out and when i was going back to my dorm one of the girls staying in my dorm was leaving. We began talking when we realized we were living in the same place and i asked ware she was going. She said Walmart and i needed to go there so i went with her. lol I just thought it was funny because i never met her before and here i am going to walmart with her. :) it makes me laugh!! she is pretty cool and we exchanged numbers so if we ever get board we can hang out.

Here is something else that is funny.. Chrisann (the girl i went to walmart with) and I were pulling back into the school parking lot and she told me that I had to lessen to this amazing song so we sat in the car and lessened to it. It was so powerful and it just gave me the goose bumps all over. It is called "how he loves" by Kim Walker. It was so beautiful!! We got out of the car and it was extremely windy along with lightning and it was so peaceful we just stood out there for a few minutes just enjoying the weather. :) sigh.....

Ok now onto a crazy thing... Today was Chapel and I sat by myself because i didn't feel like trying to find the people i new but the service was so powerful! The worship was so amazing and can you guess what song they sang last?? It was the song "how he loves", the same song Chrisann and i lessened to the night before!! How awesome is that!?!?!? I got the goose bumps during the whole time of worship. It was awesome!!

Well i guess thats enough for now, because this post is getting to be long. lol but if anyone has any questions for me just ask. =)

See Ya latter!!!!

~Taylor~

Job

Yahweh has been tugging at my heart this past week. I feel as if I haven't really learned much this summer. I've been so busy trying to do things with friends, for God, to greater his plan, but I forgot something so important, something that we often times forget. I forgot to allow my self to learn something from the lessons I taught. The thing is that, I'm not only supposed to deliver God's messages, but I'm supposed to get something out of it as well.
Sometimes I get so caught up in my life that I don't want to give God all control and luckily he has patience with me, with each and every one of us.
At youth camp this summer one of our quiet times was on Job. Job had patience and was loyal to God through everything he went through in his life. In the quiet time it asked if I thought I had patience and I said yes. Well that was before I read the scriptures. Job's sheep were killed, his wife and kids were killed, he lost his house. He had nothing left and was left living on the streets homeless, later to receive sours all over his body. With all of this he never turned his back on God, he never called Him nasty name and he never denied him. He praised God for the good times and the bad, and no matter what happened he new he had God and that was all he ever needed.
I soon realized after reading this that I didn't have patience after all. Not compared Job at least. We need to strive to be like Job everyday. I know that when something in my life goes wrong I go strait to God and ask "why are you doing this to me?"
Job never once did that, he new that God had a reason for everything that happened in his life. He wasn't afraid of God, because God is LOVE. He new that even though he lost everything on earth he still had his heavenly father, who has and never left his side.
Job was a very rich man in the beginning, lost everything he worked so hard for, then was payed back 3 folds.
Because of Job's faithfulness to God, Job was blessed with more than he could ask for. Our God is a GREAT God and he loves us very much. He is my strength when i am week, he is the treasure that I seek, he is my all in all.
This story is just one that shows us how worldly possessions have no purpose in the end, so let go of whatever your holding on to and Give it all to God.
God Bless

Taken Prisoner

I sit at my computer, wanting to write a blog, as my mind begins to transform into mush. my eyes are saying go to sleep and my body and mind are saying keep going don't stop. 

Lately, my interest in my future career has taken hold of me. I am a captive of something I'm yearning to become one with. Music therapy is slowly become more of what my heart is wanting to become. If that makes sense. The more I've read and learn about it, the more anxious I grow. This is truly were my heart is at and I can not wait to get to the point in my life when I can use this to do miraculous things in this world.

Now days music is becoming more popular and scientist are beginning to realize that music can truly heal the mind body and soul.  Science has been around for quite some time but i believe music has been around longer than that, since the beginning of time. 

I just want to learn so much and time seems to be going so slow! I mean, I don't want life to go to fast but i have this passion for learning and I can't seem to get enough of it!

For now that's all i can say, because like I said before my mind is slowly turning into mush. The later the night grows the more my brain becomes a scrambled puzzle.

See ya 

Continuing On.

Today I’m going to talk about Friday night and Saturday. After my test on Friday, I got a tour of the campus, which was pretty neat. I also got a look at the dorms so I could have a better idea of what dorm I want to live in.

I tell you, I’ve never been to a place that had so many people that were as nice as these people were. I was swished away in the breeze of kindness that blew past me. I really think this school is one of the best things that has blossomed in my life.

Saturday was orientation, and I thought it was going to be a long and a semi stressful day, but what I found was an environment filled with encouragement and joy.

One lady whom sticks fresh in my head is Debbie. Her last name has been lost in the hustle n bustle inside my head so I can’t recall it at the moment. I met her while on my tour of the campus on Friday night. My dad, the tour guide and I were walking towards her and she suddenly stuck her hand out to shake mine and said “hi Taylor my name is Debbie”. I was totally caught off guard that she even knew my name. She was so sweet and let me know she was working on getting resources ready for me for the fall; so I’ll have the same advantage as all the other fully sighted students.

Another person who I’m really looking forward to next year is Dr. Stutes. She is the Dean of the Music School at Wayland. The first time I met her was when I went to visit WBU back in February. I saw her on Saturday and she said “Oh hi Taylor it’s nice to see you again!” She was also very sweet and I look forward to being in her class in the fall. It made me feel so special that a few people remember me.

Saturday I got to pick my classes (16 credit hrs) and register for everything else that I would need next year. (Dorm, meal plan, picture id, financial aid, ect). It was very well organized and made it easy to get everything done in a timely manner. Although, it took about 6 hrs to get through every station.

In conclusion, I am so ecstatic about going to Wayland in the fall and I can’t wait to meet new people and try new things. At the end of June, I believe ill get to find out who my roommate will be. How cool is that? I can’t wait!!! J

My God is leading me, so I shall follow and obey. Everything is working out because I’ve put it all in high hands.

God bless. J

Updates

Ok, so I am currently in Stephenville, Texas visiting with some step family. Really, the reason I am in Texas to begin with is because registration was last Saturday and I had to take a placement test for math at the college I’m going to be attending in the fall. If you don’t know what school that is, its Wayland Baptist University. God sure has been working marvelous things in my life throughout this past year.

So any who, let’s start out with last Thursday. My dad and I left for Texas around 7pm, driving through the night. It was about a 12 hour drive to get to Wayland, and it was pretty cool that I got to spend so much time with just my dad. We got to talk a bit, and it really made me feel closer to him. I haven’t been very close to my dad in a very long time, so it felt really amazing to actually get to talk to him about all sorts of stuff.

We arrived at my school around 11:30 on Friday morning, which was exciting.

At 1 o’clock I took my math placement test. Can anyone guess what grade I got on it???? Bet not… lol I got an “A” on it!!!!! I totally thought I was going to fail it, but I guess I was wrong. J Since I got an “A” It placed me in the College Algebra class. Wow, me ahead, how did that happen?!?!? That totally made my day.

Saturday’s extravaganza will be posted tomorrow just so my blogs can stay semi short. If I post my blogs too long, I’m afraid no one will read them. So stay tuned for more exciting news on this new chapter in my life. J

See Ya

What has God been telling me?

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and I should have posted this blog a few days ago but I just procrastinated it. Anyways... 

God has been revealing a few things to me in the last couple of weeks. Here is what I’ve come to realize. 

1. I am supper small!!!! Sometimes I make myself feel big when I’m really not. God has shown me He is way bigger than I could have ever imagined. The link below is a video God used to show this to me. There are 5 videos you don’t have to watch all of them. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewKtSKbWZUI&feature=channel_page 

2. There was this old text my friend once sent me, it said, to think of 5 things that God has done that is worthy of praise. At the moment I couldn’t think of anything, but as time went on, I realized some things worth of praising. One of them is: Every day God blesses us with a new painting in the sky. Every day, it reminds me of how beautiful He really is. Have you ever heard anyone say a picture can never be as good as the real thing. That reminds me of when I try to take a picture of a sunset. I try so hard to capture what my eyes are taking in, but guess what it never seems as marvelous as it was in person. 

3. To cherish the time I have with the people I love because time fly’s really fast and before you know it you want to turn back time and unfortunately you can’t. 

4. If God wants you to do something, somehow you end up doing it anyway. He pushes and pushes you until you have to do what He says. He has a plan for my life so why do I keep fighting what he wants, after all he knows what’s best for me, but I do it anyway.

I think there is more, but I can’t think of the rest at the moment. :) Peace 

PHIL 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”

Monday news (its monday right) jk

Man, I love working out. :) There’s just something about it, it’s the way I feel afterwards, I guess. It’s the feeling of satisfaction that you did something good for your body. Unfortunately, I haven’t worked out in a wile because of that little thing called laziness. hahaha don’t we all hate that. lol 

Any ways I’m really trying to get back into shape again. I usually would be in shape by now, but since I couldn’t fit track into my schedule this year, it has made me more out of shape than ever before. Ill get back to where I was eventually hopefully :)

Anyway, on to a more serious note I just ate this amazing chicken salad, and it tasted absolutely amazing!!!! YUMMMMM =D it definitely hit the spot.

P.S.- Just a heads up Ill be posting another blog here soon. (either tonight or tomorrow) Tootles for now.

Got it all figured out?

OK so I sit here eating some yummy frosted flakes, looking at a blank word box wondering what thoughts I should through your way today. Then all of a sudden “Bamb!!!!” I know what I must say.... 

“Got it All Figured Out” Confused? Me too, just kidding. 

OK on with my thought.... 

Humans are pretty intelligent, don’t you think? We understand how storms are created. We map solar systems and transplant hearts. We measure the depths of the oceans and signal distant planets. We... have studied the system and are learning how it works. 

And, for some, the loss of mystery has led to the loss of majesty. The more we know, the less we believe. (really think about that) 

Strange, don’t you think? Knowledge of the workings shouldn’t negate wonder. Knowledge should stir wonder. Who has the more reason to worship than the astronomer who has seen the stars? Than the surgeon who has held a heart? Than the oceanographer who has pondered the depths? The more we know, the more it should amaze us! 

Ironically, the more we know, the less we worship..... We are more impressed with our discovery of the light switch than with the one who invented electricity.... Rather than worship the Creator; we worship the creation (Rom. 1:25). 

No wonder there is no wonder. We’ve figured it all out. 

Just a thought for the day. 

See ya!!! :)

He Always Takes Me BacK!!!

OK, so at my church I started this street evangelism group called FTH (Feed the Hungry). I originally started it but was afraid to be in charge of it, because… well actually I don’t really know why but anyway the right person is in charge of it now and it’s better that way because ill be going off to college next year and couldn’t be in charge of it, anyway. 

Well, last month when FTH went down town to feed the homeless a few ladies and I sat down with this man (I don’t remember his name so let’s call him John). So John began expressing his feeling towards religion period. Instantly, I realized this man was going to be an interesting person to communicate with. He expressed he messes up a lot and God doesn’t deserve someone like him; someone who constantly makes the same mistake repeatedly. I tried to tell him that we’re only human and God expects us to mess up again and again, because it’s in our human nature to do so. We can try as hard as we want, but no matter what we do it’ll never work, we will always mess up. God knew that, and that’s one reason His son Jesus died for us, so we could get to heaven. “Because the wages of sin is death” we would have never made it to heaven if it wasn’t for Jesus. 

I told John that I make mistakes all the time, whether it’s messing up and falling into old bad habits or if its finding myself lying. The mistakes can be anything but I confess them to God and every time, whether I think I deserve it, He takes me back. 

I recently make a huge mistake and honestly, I wished God could punish me somehow so I would learn from it. I always learn from my mistakes, but for some odd reason I seem to make it again. Sometimes it’s not for a long time like 4 months or a short period of time like 2 days, but either way it doesn’t matter because God loves me and he knows that I’m going to face temptation throughout my entire life. 

So why, with the knowledge that I have, make the same mistake again if I know it’s not right? 

Sometimes were so blinded by what we see and feel and ignore what God is trying to tell us. I may know that God is with me and I can count on Him to get me through these temptations, but sometimes… I don’t want his help. That is why I make the same mistakes repeatedly; because I try so hard to handle things on my own. I try so hard to say that everything is ok when there is something on my mind. I try so hard to tell God that I don’t need his help, that I can do it on my own. But clearly I can’t do it on my own because I keep falling into the same mistakes repeatedly, just because I want to be strong and do it on my own. 

After I messed up, I talked to God and confessed what I did. I was so angry at myself and wanted to commit the same sin again just because I was made that I fell into temptation again. For a couple of days I was really down because I hadn’t forgiven myself for it. I talked to God again and asked him to give me peace about it. He spoke to me and said:

“Taylor, I love you so much and I know you messed up but see how long you went without falling into that temptation? You are so amazing and I know you are stronger than you think”

Ok God didn’t really speak these words to me but this is what I felt like he was telling me. Soon after this I felt at peace with myself and could finally move on. God works in weird ways, but He always takes me back even when I don’t think I deserve it, he does. It’s because of God I stand here or…. write here, and it’s because of God that I know everything will always be ok. Sometimes the hardest part in life is trying to find the courage to forgive yourself, but one thing you can always count on is that God has got your back and he is lever going to let you fall. 

This story is an example of how God forgives us of our sins and I know many people feel like John (the homeless man I mentioned above) and I know it’s hard to even fathom that someone could or would want even want to take you back. But let me tell you, He does, and it honors him to have you back in his family. 

God has taught me so many things and I would love to go back to that park and find John again and share with him this story that God has given me to tell. This story that can somehow or some way relate to him. It may not be the same circumstance, but God does everything for a reason and this is the testimony I would like to share with him. I hope and pray that my blog will somehow benefit someone. 

God Bless. :)

The security that God has your back

Man, time is flying at the speed of light!!!! Spring break has come to a rap and I’m back at school trying to make the best of the time I have left. My senior year is almost over and I cannot believe this sight….. I used to think I would never be a senior in high school, awaiting the day I would get to start the next chapter in my life. I used to think it was so far away, that I would never get to that point in my life. Well, I’m standing here today, my senior year, ready to take that leap into adulthood and a life filled with responsibilities. Fears flutter in and out of my mind as I debate the upcoming decisions I’m going to have to make in my life, such as college. It’s a scary thing to think about, moving out for the first time in your life, spreading your wings for the first time ever, trusting that God has got your back; trying to decide what school is best for you and what school you could get the most out of, it’s all hard. 

This year has been filled with prayers none stop that God would lead me in the right direction and that I would have the patience to lessen when He speaks to me. Like every child of God we all get distracted, discouraged, lost, joyful, and all those emotions that come with being saved; so I tell you that is why Christ died for us because he knew the world and he knew what it was capable of, he knew that the only way for us to get to the father was through him so he gave himself as a living sacrifice. 

Just as Christ but His trust in God I put my trust in him that He will answerer my prayers in his time, and when he feels I’m ready. My future is scary to think about and my family is having a hard time with the fact that I’m growing up, but I trust that God will lead me and he will reveal his answers to me when my heart is ready to hear his calling for my life. 

I know I want to make a difference in this world, but the question is not when but how. God has the timing planned perfectly, so now, it’s my job to take action and use the gifts God has blessed me with. I hope that someday God will use my blog and my life, so that I may impact someone’s life who, (with God’s help) “stumbles” over my page. When the time is right God will open the eyes of blind, speak to deaf, and lead those who are lost.

Sometimes things have to change...

Ok, so yesterday I was at my friend’s house after church and my sister asked me if I could share my testimony later that night before our hockey game. Scared I said “maybe” unsure as to if I could do it or not. So I planned what to say in my head and talked to God for a while about it. I knew that there would only be one way I could share my testimony; and that was if God could give me the words to say.

So there I stand in the middle of the room, scared, knowing that all these people are going to hear of the many struggles I’ve been through, seeing every eye fixed on me, I shut my eyes and shared the testimony of my faith and the storms I’ve had to overcome to get to the point of which I’m at now; acting as if God was my only audience and that no one else was in the room.

God got me through this testimony and although it was hard I knew that God could use my words so that maybe someone could be set free from the pain they feel inside.

I want you to know that it’s okay to hurt, it’s okay to cry, its okay to admit that you're having a hard time. The world has raised us to think that the way we feel on the inside is something to fear, but its not... God gave us feelings so that one day we could help someone with the same struggles as us.... There are so many hurting people living behind the seance, putting on masks acting like everything is peachy but when in actuality they are hurting so much because they are so afraid of what the world would say if they expressed their genuine feelings. In return so many lives are lost in the fall of the night because no one ever told them they understood the hurt they felt. No one said you can make it! there is HOPE!!!

It’s time to stand and fight!!! We need to open up and let the world know that our generation is going to make a difference. It’s time to put our trust in God and know that He will protect us through every battle we face. I am a servant of God and I I’m going to war!!! I am no longer afraid of what the world thinks of me, and I’ll stand strong knowing that God is my rock and He is by my side every step of the way!!

I hope that whoever took the time to read this post takes my words to heart and is by my side ready to make a difference in this messed up world. I hope that you never forget that all things are possible when your on God’s team.

=) May God bless you in everything you do for Him and His glory. =)

Armor of God

Ok so I really can’t put into words how thankful I am to have such an awesome God who is not only funny but who loves me so much He would do anything for me. 

Earlier yesterday I felt like a bomb just waiting for someone to come and push the button, then suddenly BOOM!!!!!!! There I go……

I was texting a friend, and I told her how I was feeling and that I did not understand why I was feeling this way. This is what she said: “If you feel the effects of being shot at with an arrow you probably have been. Where there are arrows, there is the one shooting them at you.” 

Now to me those words seemed powerful, but I didn’t quite understand the meaning of them. So she then said: 

“Were there are arrows there is Satan also.” 

 Now what a great story! Satan is the source of all negativity. He likes to stir up trouble from nothing without us even knowing about it. I was feeling like a bomb because I was drifting away from God. I wanted to be lazy and not read my bible but you see what happened; it made me feel awful and even worse than I would have felt if I would have just spent time with God. My friend said, “You should use your shield and sword. Ephesians 6:10-20” 

So that’s what I did I opened up my bible and I read Ephesians 6:10-20

The Whole Armor of God

10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. 13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; 15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: 18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching there unto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; 19 And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.Gods Words are so powerful and can change your day in an instance if you just take a few minutes to spend time in His word or even just talking to Him. After I read this I felt so much better, I was being protected from Satan’s evil deceiving arrows. God is so amazing and I am so blessed to have Him as my Lord and savior.

Let's Shout His Glory Now!

When Christ came to save us he left us with a pretty important task, to take his message to the very ends of the earth. It says in Mark 16:15 He said to them, “go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.” The church was never meant to be confined to four walls; it wasn’t supposed to be something that only happened on Sundays. We need to be wrapped up in our faith, always reaching out to others, 24/7. Christians need to be tangled up in their faith and when I say tangled, I mean a life spent pursuing a Christian angle in all that we do, in every word we speak, with every action we take, in every person we meet. We need to be more involved in our church, but that involvement shouldn’t end with a closing prayer we need to take it right out the church doors with us. God has given us all special gifts and talents so that we may be used for God’s plan. So don’t be afraid to take your faith outside the church I mean God wants us to do that. He wants us to shout his glory and share how he’s worked in our lives. We shouldn’t be afraid to tell our friends or family outside of church what God has done in your life. We should celebrate it, rather than hide it. So if that’s something you struggle with, I strongly encourage you to pray and ask God to give you strength and the courage to do this. I promise you if more Christians took their faith outside of the church we would have a much better chance to impact more people’s lives through Gods message.