week 3- Who/what has had a major influence on your life?

I know this is going to sound cheesy and make me sound like a Jesus freak but I am ok with that.. The one person that has had the biggest influence in my life would have to be Jesus..  It is because of him that I keep fighting.. It is his loving character that gives me strength to say that I am a daughter of the King. He has helped me through so much in my life that I can't even begin to list and each time I mess up He takes me back, without thinking twice... He has and continues to teach me that its ok to hurt and ask for help, because "we" live in a broken world and WE are NOT perfect.. WE all need help.. this world wasn't made for us to go through it alone... He is teaching me that his grace is sufficient in my weakness no matter what, because He is the perfect replication of strength. He is what strength is all about.. If I didn't have Christ in my life I honestly don't know where I would be right now.. I know you probably hear people say that a lot of times but it is the truth.. It is because of him that I go to Wayland.. It is because of Him that I have a good relationship with my family.. It is because of Him that I continue to have faith in something I can't see... But I know He is there... I can feel Him all around me.. I can't make it through a day without Him..

The last couple of year or I guess my whole life I feel like I have continually been fighting for my life every single day and I know that if i didn't have the faith of a mustard seed when I was struggling or having doubts I would probably be dead by now... Its hard to admit that.. But God is my reason for life, He is the one who keeps me going.. He makes life worth living for and as long as He stays by my side (which I know darn well He will!) I know I can live for that!

I read Gods word and I see the way he treats people and the kind of people He chose to be with... It wasn't the rich and selfish.. it was the pour and broken who he donated all of His time towards.. I see that and then I look at our world today..
What do you see?
I see a world full of broken people who are searching for help and everyone just passes each other by without even thinking twice.. So consumed with there own issues that they forget that others are hurting as well..  Is that what God intended US as Christians to be like, to do? I don't think so... In the bible it says that when you become a Christian you become a "little Christ" which means that you are to act as Christ acted being a "little Christ". I want to be like Christ and live like He lived... Yes that requires caring my own "cross" but Christ did it for me so why can't I do it for Him.. I have to give up my whole life to fallow Him and if that gives me the greatest reward in the end, then bring it on because I know that Christ is my strength and He will pull me through anything/everything..

I want to live like Christ lived and change lives.. I want my eyes to be opened to the broken and hurting and I want my story to be used to transform lives and give them that mustard seek of hope that I had to cling to for so long.. Yes I am still broken and hurting but who isn't? We all are.. But I am done being consumed by my own pain... and I am done passing others by.. I want to be the light in the darkness.. I want to be a tool that God uses in someones life.. I want my words to touch YOUR heart and let you know that YOU are NOT a lone! I want to be that difference!

I know I am weak... I know I am struggling ALL the time.. I know that I am not good enough for this world... But that is ok because I KNOW that with Christ in my life He will be my strength in my weakness and He WILL take me back time and time again when I mess up... and I KNOW that although I am not good enough for this world, I am good enough for Him and that is ALL that should matter to me.. There is something far more greater for my life and although I don't know what it is right now, God knows and as long as I trust Him, lives will be touched and I will be that change, I will be that difference!

My faith hasn't always been this strong... Its taken A LONG time to get to this point.. and its still not that strong all the time.. But its because of all of the hardships I've gone through in my life, seeing the way He has helped me overcome it all and seeing his influence time and time again through out the bible, that He continues to have that positive influence in my life and continues to transform me and renews my faith everyday. It by all means is NOT easy at all.. It does take a lot of time and effort.. just like having a friendship with someone takes time and effort so does this... You can't have a good relationship with Christ if you don't spend time with Him and get to know Him...

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog... I hope that in some way what I have said has touched your heart and If you would like to talk to me or ask any questions please feel free to leave me a message or shoot me an email at ts6408@yahoo.com and Ill get back to you as soon as possible!

"you are beautifully and wonderfully made"
~Taylor~

Week 4-
What are your aspirations in life and why? Have fun!! =)

Week 2- Favorite memories growing up

Favorite Memories... 

At first, when I decide the topic for the week I was having a really hard time... I could not for the life of me think of something happy that stuck out from my life.. I know what you're thinking.. "how can you not think of something happy??" Well you see, this is exactly why I am doing this project! I have been so consumed with all of the hurt and pain from my past that it was starting to take over my mind, to the point that I couldn't even remember anything good about the last 21 years.. Once I started really thinking about my life, glimpses of happy memories began to reveal themselves from there hiding places. 

So... Are you ready for this.. are you ready to hit the road?? 

Traveling down memory lane, words fill my mind as they line the journey set before me.. Comforting, soothing words that brings joy to my mind.

~Night night~

When my twin sister and I were born my dad made up this little rhyme.. It goes like this: "Night night, Sleep tight, Love you, Love you more, Love you this much, Kisses, Night night." Every night my dad would come into our room and do this.. After every phrase we would repeat what he said.. When he said "I love you THIS much" We would through our arms out stretched wide trying to emphasize how much he really loved us, and when he said "kisses" we would blow kisses to my dad and he would catch them all.. Never letting one get away, and he would place them in his heart.. Every night we did this and it seemed to make everything feel so much better.. Even if the day was a nightmare everything seemed better because my dad still cared and loved us so much! Some times I think about this memory and really miss the warm comforting sound of his sweet words every night, sometimes wishing I could be a kid again... But that is why memories are so good! You can savor that moment forever! 

Growing up I never realized how much I was really loved... I honestly had no idea.. But now that I look back and remember the good times, I am starting to come to my senses...:)

~Late night talks~

haha This one always makes me smile... Im sure ALL of you know what I am talking about!! It's those "late night talks" that you say you will NEVER forget about! As you already know, I have a twin sister.. She is the most amazing person alive and that is just being nice...:) But anyways... When we were children Jordan and I always had a bunk bed.. Jordan got top and I got bottom... Every night after my dad did "night nights" Jordan would beg me to come up to the top bunk with here.. Every night she asked me to do 1 of 2 things... Either Sing her a song or make up a story... For some reason this helped her fall asleep at night.. (at least I think it did.. If not I don't know why else she would want me to do that every night..:)) So being the good sister that I am, every night I would climb up to her bunk and make up a silly story and/or sing her a song.. It was always so nice to feel needed even though I really wanted to just go to sleep!! We had many late nights like this.. trying to see who could stay up the longest (which she always won at... :/) But, hey what can I say.. I like me some sleep! Being "all grown up" kind've sucks some times i must admit... Jordan is now married and has her own life and I am gone away at school the majority of the year.. so we don't have many late night talks/hang outs any more.. It does make me sad but it makes me glad to see how we have grown over the years.. And plus there will always be plenty of late night talks to come in the future.. :D

~DUN DUN DUN...... The evil stepmother~

What is the first thing that pops into your head when you here this?? Ready GO!! 

ok.. well what your thinking is wrong... 

Yes I have a step mom... but, she isn't as evil as evil stepmothers can be... This isn't as the original fairy tale kind of story.. But it is a story..

When my dad and step mom sat my sisters and I down to tell us what was going on my dad starts off by saying.. "Children.. I have been searching all around town to find the perfect "evil stepmother" for you and I think I finally found her!" We all kind of laughed and ever since then the name has stuck.. Every time I get a letter at school from my step mom, in the "from" line on the envelope it'll read "evil step mother" and on the inside of the card it would say: Love always the evil stepmother.. Its pretty hilarious if you ask me because the expressions on peoples faces when they hear me talk about my step mom that way are just priceless.. Every where we would go whether to a school meeting, meet the teacher, friends.. anything, my step mom would introduce herself as just that. "hello I am the evil stepmother.." 

~Hailee and I~

Hailee is my adorable niece... She will six on the 24th of this month.. I can't believe how big she is ALREADY.. Her and I have a special bond together.. Im not sure why that is but we make a great team! When she was a baby my sister Kendis (Hailee's mom) would only let me watch Hailee out of all of my other sister.. when it came time for a nap... she had the hardest time falling asleep because there was just way to much going on and of course she didn't want to miss anything... so I would take her into the pantry hallway and shut the doors on both sides and just sit on the floor in the dark rocking her back and forth until she finally fell asleep... when she got a little older my sister moved out and got her own place with her little family and she would bring Hailee over to the house every morning at around 630 so that she could go to work.. Almost every morning my niece would crawl into bed with me and just cuddle until it was time for me to get up and get ready for school.. But of course with a little one entering an already warm bed the person in the bed always gets the shocking experience of cold feet... haha she always put her cold piggy toes on me because she thought it was funny to see me jump or freak out! For a couple of years we had this morning ritual and I honestly really miss those morning with here a lot.. 

~Singing silly songs~

I am kind of musically inclined.. not a lot but kind of.. I play guitar and something that I do often to cheer myself up is being goofy and playing silly songs.. Random songs about lonely shoes in my closet the never get used.. or about break lunch and dinner including everything in between (brunch, lupper, and even brinner) My roommate got a kick out of this the last year and a half.. her and I would sing the craziest things but you know what?? I didn't really care because, well it was fun!:) occasionally when I am starting to feel down i just pull out my guitar and do just that.. sing something silly that will brighten my mood.

~Bag Pipes~

This is one of my most favorite memories... My whole life, or at least the last 21 years, I have had to opportunity to hear my grandpa McDonald play the bag pipes.. He was the most amazing bag piper I've ever heard in my life... I am not just saying that because he was my grandma, I am saying that because it is the truth!! Every year he would fly from FL to AZ and we would always make sure he had those pipes of his or he would be in trouble with all of his grandkids! There was just nothing like hearing him play.. He played at my step mom and dads wedding and when i was in elementary school he came to my school and played for my whole grade, which was really awesome!! He even whore a kilt and everything else that went with it. The kids just laughed and said!  "oh my gosh that guy is wearing a skirt... O_o" Then I would have to explain that it wasn't really a skirt but a kilt and that all Scottish bag pipers wear them, its apart of the heritage! My grandpa recently just passed away and it aches my heart to think that I wont ever get to see him play again.. But one great thing is that hopefully some day ill be able to carry on the tradition of the bag pipes in my family and learn to play just like him! My grandma said that if I want to carry on this for the family that she would give me my grandpas pipes which would mean a lot me but would be scary as well.. I know I will never be as good as he was but just the fact that I could try and do this for my family makes my heart happy.. My grandpa was one of the most amazing men i've got to know and I am so blessed to have been able to have him for so long!

Well travelers.. I hope the trip wasn't to long and that you all enjoyed your tour of Memory Lane! Until next time.. Enjoy!:) 

P.s week 3 journal entry is:

Who/what has had a major influence in your life? Make sure it is a positive influence and most importantly Have FUN!!! =)

Week 1 "what is Beauty"

Rules: 
You can not include anything regarding body shape, weight, size ect.. Some where on the page you must include the worlds "You are beautifully and wonderfully made" This is Gods promise to us.. He thinks highly of every single one of us.. and that is something I want you to always remember! 


ok.. What is beauty?  
To be quite honest this is a really hard topic for me to answer... I have always struggled with this idea.. "am I beautiful?" I think a lot of people, especially girls struggle with this concept because of the way the world portrays the word "beauty". With how often it is shoved in our faces we tend to forget the "true" meaning of this word... They way God really intended us to see ourselves.. Here is my thoughts and feelings.. 


"I am beautifully and wonderfully made" 


What makes me beautiful? 


I have a pretty smile
a beautiful heart
loving spirit
silly laugh
pretty brown curly hair
an encouraging personality
I give great hugs (i LOVE hugs)
i love everyone.. 
I want to help everyone I can get my hands on
I am to nice for my own good..
I can play musical instruments
I speak from my heart..


With the help of friends and family this is the list I have come up with... There are more, but this is the shorter version.. All of these are characteristics about myself that makes me a beautiful person.. I actually think that it is kind of sad that it took me all week and assistance from others to find things in myself that makes me a "beautiful person". But that is why I am doing this.. To find out things that I didn't know before.. Looks like its working! :) 


Now lets look at Gods perspective on Beauty... Here are some verses to keep in mind the next time you try to say "your not beautiful".. No matter how you feel about yourself you are beautiful in Gods eyes and that is the only thing that matters!

Psalm 139:14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

What it means: You are created in the image of God, and God doesn't make junk! Like a snowflake, every person is unique. No two are the same. God sees you as a masterpiece; and when you look in the mirror, He wants you to "know that full well." Try this beauty tip: Every morning when you look in the mirror, say Psalm 139:14 and smile. You might even tape the verse on your mirror as a reminder!

1 Samuel 16:7

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

What it means: The world focuses on what people look like on the outside. God focuses on what people look like on the inside. Do you put more time and effort into being pretty on the outside or the inside? As you get older, you will meet Christian girls who spend more time trying to find the perfect outfit, get the perfect tan, find the perfect lip gloss, and have the perfect body. While there's nothing wrong with wanting to look pretty, we need to make sure it's in balance. God would rather see us work on becoming drop-dead gorgeous on the inside. You know, the kind of girl who talks to Him on a regular basis (prayer) and reads her Bible.

Proverbs 31:3

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

What it means: Beauty fades with age, so if you are more concerned with your outer appearance, you will be unhappy when the wrinkles come and the number on the scale goes up. In fact, did you know that your body may show the beginning signs of aging as early as age twenty? That is why God wants us to "fear" Him. That doesn't mean to be afraid of Him but rather to be in awe of Him and all that He has done. Let me put it to you this way. If you stand two girls next to each other and one is Miss Teen USA whose beauty is limited to physical beauty, and the other young lady is a more average-looking girl who loves the Lord more than anything, she is the more beautiful girl in the eyes of God.

1 Peter 3:3-4

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

What it means: This does not mean it's wrong to braid your hair or wear nice clothes and jewelry. The verse was written to warn women not to follow the customs of some of the Egyptian women who, during that time period, spent hours and hours working on their hair, makeup, and finding the perfect outfit. God would rather see women work on becoming beautiful on the inside — the kind of beauty that lasts forever.

1 Timothy 4:8

Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is much more important, for it promises a reward in both this life and the next.

What it means: Exercising and staying in shape is a good thing, but God expects us to stay in shape spiritually by reading our Bibles, praying, and going to church on a regular basis. In other words, there will be plenty of people who put their time and effort into staying in shape but who are out of shape spiritually. If they don't know Jesus Christ, their perfect bodies won't get them through the gates of heaven.

Just a few ideas on how to look at yourself in a different way!! Instead of analyzing yourself every time you look in the mire.. try telling yourself that "you are beautifully and wonderfully made" Remind yourself that you are "Beautiful" in Gods eyes no matter what.. That is the only thing that matters because that is the real truth!

Stay tuned in for next weeks journal entry!:) 

"YOU are Beautiful!!" :-)

Encouragement Journal

What is encouragement?? I have had a really rough time in the last couple of years trying to keep myself encouraged.. Don't get me wrong I mean I know how to encourage people.. just not always myself.. So I decided to start an encouragement journal! ha! that'll show you Mr sad face!! :P

So. . this journal will be filled with lovely messages of joy and happiness so that every time I look at it, Ill be encouraged and remember how beautiful my life really is... despite all of my trials and sad days... Some times I get so consumed with the hard times that I forget that there really are good things going on in my life as well.. Thus the point of my journal..

As you all know.. "WE" are all human and we are all struggling with something... negative thoughts, bad attitudes, self harm, depression, self esteem, loneliness, stress, fear... The list can go on and on.. But my point is, we are all needing encouragement for we are only "human" and NOT perfect! Anyone interested in participating in this with me are more then welcome to jump on in at any time!

Assignment:
Every Monday ill introduce a new topic to journal.. You can do any type of journal..  a photo journal, written journal (on paper or blog) or really whatever else you can think of, will be fine as long as you address the topic that is assigned! This is to help you dig deeper inside and help you find who you are and how you really feel! Not every week will be a hard serious topic but expect to be challenged! If anyone has a topic in mind please feel free to through it out there! I am open for idea!

Today is the start of the second week. Here are the first 2 weeks entry's

Week 1 Journal entry topic (last weeks entry): "what is beauty?"
Week 2 Journal entry topic (this week) "what is your favorite memory growing up?"

My hope for this is the help you grow in yourself and to help you discover how beautiful your life really is.. My hope is that when you are feeling "down in the dumps" so to say.. that you will have something to turn to that will encourage you despite how horrible you feel! Good luck and Have fun!! :D

"You are Beautifully and Wonderfully made!"