Having Faith Is What It Takes

Hey Lovely readers! Sorry its been a wile since i wrote last.. A lot of things have been going on in my life.. Some good, some bad but overall I have a sense of peace. The Lord is so good to me and I am so blessed and honored that He still cares so much and still wants to help me... I have taken so many wrong turns in my life that I feel so unworthy of this kind of love... I know I don't deserve it in the least bit but, He still cares.. 

About a month ago my parents made the decision for me to come home from college.. I wasn't doing a very good job of taking care of myself.. I guess i was hoping that the more I helped others and payed attention to them and there needs, that maybe my issues would just go away.. I LOVE helping people and being there for them.. Well what I thought would work, didn't.. I came home feeling so broken, so alone, helpless, trapped, abandoned, betrayed... But the one word I now realize i didn't feel, was "Hopeful.." I felt like I had no hope.. Like there was no point in living any longer.. I felt as if I had lost everything I've worked so hard to get.. My friends.. the clubs/organizations I was involved in at school, my health, my life, and in a little way, God.. I couldn't understand why this was happening to me.. why couldn't I just take care of myself in the first place? My family was frustrated yet scared all at the same time because they have never seen me as low as i had been.. No one new how to act or what to say to me, which was very difficult.. But the Lord is ALWAYS faithful!!! I had no idea what I was going to do next, so I prayed... I prayed and prayed and prayed.. Asking the Lord to guide me unto the way I should go.. doors began to open before me and that was when I realized that there is always room for Hope.. The Lord did not give us a heart of fear but a heart of courage! God was telling me "Taylor I know you are scared.. But trust in me and everything will be ok!! I PROMISE!!" So I began to trust that He new what He was doing.. Even when I had no clue what to do or what to expect, God had a plan so why should I be afraid?? 

Like I said Doors began to open unto me and resources and connections began flowing in like a blanket of monsoon rain. With the God given free time I now had (since I wasn't at school) I began the search for a treatment center to go to. A place that was Christ centered, a place of healing and restoration, a place that God wanted ME to go to, and of course a place that wasn't extremely expensive.. (which is hard to find..) So I continued to trust the Lord even though i had fear that it wasn't going to work out.. Fear that I wasn't worth the time or effort, fear that I didn't deserve healing.. Now I don't know why I felt this way.. Maybe that was just Satan in my head.. 

I found 2 places- Christian based and FREE

Mercy Ministries (MM)

http://www.mercyministries.org/homepage

His Mansion Ministries (HM)  

http://www.hismansion.com/

Patiently waiting.. I filled out my applications and sent them in.. (let me tell you... waiting for the unexpected is one of the HARDEST things to do.. In my opinion anyways!) So I waited and waited and then got a phone interview for MM, then had to wait another week for the actual interview.. I honestly think that there is always room for improvement when it comes to patience.. We could all use some help in that area.. haha I know God is always testing mine!

Well then a week later... I got a call from HM! They wanted to set up a phone interview!! The interview went great and I just had an overwhelming peace that this was the place I needed to go!! A friend of mine whose nephew went to this facility had so many good things to say about it.. Then her sister (who has a prayer ministry in Dallas tx) told me that she would sponsor me to go there if I got in! Then on top of all of this her sister knows a girl whose name is also Taylor. Well ironically Taylor just got out of HM in the Spring of last year! She called HM for me and gave them a heads up that they would be receiving my application soon and told them a little about me. How COOL is that???  It was as if God was telling me.. I want you HERE!! I am going to make the way before you so that you will not have to worry about a thing.. 1 month later I got excepted into HM.. actually just found out last Monday, November 28 2011!!! It was the most reassuring feeling I've had this whole time of waiting.. I felt so hopeful that my patience and faith in the Lord payed off!! Now there also was the doubting feeling in my head.. like "oh my gosh.. do i deserve this?? Do I really need to go to a treatment center??" But as those thoughts pop in and out of my head I remind myself that the Lord is taking care of me and if I wasn't supposed to go to HM then I would have never got excepted in the first place.. The Father is in control and I trust Him with ALL of my heart!! What else do I have to do.. Except waist my time worrying about something that is already being taken care of for me! 

Every day I remind myself that the Lord HAS a plan and if He opens a door I WILL go through it! Yes it may be hard and terrifying at times but if the Lord is with you no one can harm you! WE as Christians are untouchable!! Often times I forget that... Satan gets it in my head that I've already lost so why keep on fighting or are you really worth it? But the TRUTH is; Jesus already paid the price for our sins! Victory has already been won! I am the child of the King and untouchable because the same power that raised Christ from the dead is the SAME power that lives inside of me and every other Believer!! What CAN'T we do if we have that same power?? 

I know i've talked a lot but I feel like this has to be said! God knows we are NOT perfect!! But He doesn't want us to live broken lives either.. He is the healer, the bringer of good things! Some times we ask for prayers to be answered and things don't work out the way you wanted them to.. Remember that God KNOWS what He is doing!! He can see the big picture!! We just see a tiny conner... Trust and know that the Lord is Good! He is the ONLY thing that can give you joy in life even in the worst part of the storm.. You will always have that Joy in your heart!! Happiness comes and goes but Joy lasts forever!! 

If I didn't have my faith or hope in the Lord I wouldn't be alive right now.. I would have given up a long time ago.. I know that God has a HUGE plan in store for my life and apart of that plan involves me going to His Mansion for a year... Seeking healing, guidance, comfort, strength, and knowledge on who He is, who I am in Him, and how He sees me! One year from NOW I will be free from all of my pain! Yes I know that the road is going to be rough ahead but I know that God is always going to be with me and will help me through the many storms I am going to encounter. 

Im terrified about going to a place, a place I've never been and going all alone, knowing no one there... But although the fear is boiling up I remember that God has a plan! This is where He wants me to go! Its just another adventure I get the privilege to go on with my Father in Heaven and another test of my faith!

Know that the Lord is always faithful!! He loves you SO very much and everything we go through will build you up and make you a stronger believe in Him! If life was perfect we would have no reason to to have faith or to trust in the Lord when times were tough! It is because of the difficult times in our lives that make us who we are today! The amazing person God made you to be! Perfect in HIS IMAGE!! (I am working on this last part!) 

Things happen for a reason right?? 

Because I came home I have been blessed in many different ways!

-Time of relaxation 

-More time to spend with the Father

-Communication with my family is getting a "little" better (definitely hard at time.. lots of miscommunication as well)

-Time to research and meditate on where God was calling me to go

-Time with my church family and being able to receive there encouragement and support as well

-Time to practice piano again!!! Life at school left me with no time to play anymore and that was really hard.. 

-Having the opportunity to learn new piano music and play in my friends piano recital

-Being able to see my sister as she goes through the end of her pregnancy and being able to meet my nephew! (that is when he is born...any day now!)

-Having the opportunity to make a baby quilt for my new nephew 

-Learn new recipes

-Got to have thanksgiving with my family

-Don't have to stress about finals and can focus on regaining strength and healing for now!

All of these things would have never happened if my parents never made the decision for me to come home. (2 months shy of the end of the semester..) I am so blessed to have a family that cares so much about me.. I know it has been hard for them to see me hurt but its because of that pain that I am able to write this to you write now.. Times get hard and although I was VERY angry (at first) with the fact that I couldn't finish the semester, I am now blessed beyond belief that things have turned out the way they have and I now trust God completely, more then ever before!!

Blessings come in many different shapes and sizes, so even if God sends you a blessing and its not in the form you wanted it in.. Except it and remember that God HAS a plan! It may not line up with your plan (most of the time it doesn't) But NEVER stop believing! Never for one second let Satan convince you that YOU are not worth anything.. Because you are worth EVERYTHING!! 

I pray that in some way what I have shared with you has given you a sense of hope, a sense that you are NOT alone! 

Hope Sustains,

~Taylor~

Week 7- Inspirational lyrics

THE HYMN (O WHAT MERCY)

Verse 1
O what mercy has been granted me
for the filthy rags I’ve worn
clothed in sacrifice to great to speak
and of new life reborn
still my darkness veils all the victories

that you’ve seen me through

the prisons I have counted each

a wall of sin so high I cannot reach

Jesus Christ who died for me

gave his life so that I could be free

he gave his life so that I could be free

Verse 2 
They come to you weary broken torn
and lay their sorrows at your feet

parched and hungry for a taste of joy and from suffering find retreat

but our silence veils all the answers

that they seek from you

children cry to see your face

poor men desperate for your arms of grace

Jesus Christ who died for them

by your scars we pray their wounds will mend

by your scars we pray their wounds will mend

Verse 3
Our God of grace

our deliverer
to you be glory and fame

all our treasures we have counted loss

for to surrender is to gain

but your hope unveils all the answers

and reveals the Truth

by the cross you made a way

you will bring us to your home one day

Jesus Christ for us you died

gave the world Your love though we denied

I heard this song for the first time last week on Pandora and ever since then I've been hooked!! God has been really ministering to me through these lyrics and I really wanted to share it with you all! At the rate I am at I probably listen to this song maybe 10 times a day if not more! I hope you all enjoy this song and have a great day! 

P.s Sorry about the video.. I couldn't find any other video for this song. So just kick back, relax and let God minister to your heart as He has done and continues to do to mine! Love you all!

P.s.s Week 8- write about your fears! Sorry I'm kind of behind.. eak!! Life is just a tad bit busy!!

God Bless

~Taylor~ 

Week 5- What makes you happy?

First off I would like to apologize to you all for slacking on my posts... I have been extremely stressed out with school lately and have been a little distracted.. I'll do my best to keep up this time I promise! 


What makes me happy?
There are so many things that come to my mind when I think of the word happy. Have you ever thought of what that word really means? Happy..


hap·py
Having a sense of confidence in or satisfaction with (a person, arrangement, or situation)


In actuality I am really easy to please, simply seeing a beautiful painted sunset in the sky after a long hard day or taking a nice walk with friends dancing in the nice autumn rain can make my day. There is nothing like the smell of rain!! Its like God is washing every bit of filth away from every crack and crevice on this earth. I just love it!! =) 


I love the laughter of people and the smiles on there faces, I love giving and receiving hugs, the kind of hugs that are so warm and meaningful, the ones that really show you that they care. I love those long talks and long walks with my beautiful friends, or getting the chance to snuggled up with my warm blanket on a cold winter day at school, wile watching disney movies in the lobby, are all things that make me smile and brings joy to my heart. Actually talking about all this makes me really want it to be winter now. I can't wait to see the snow falling from the sky and watching people trying to "not" slip on ice as they make there journey to class in the mornings. haha I'm sure this sounds pretty terrible to hear me say such a thing, but hey they I'm sure they are laughing at me as well when I try to make it to class without slipping. =) 


I love this school and I love the people. My professors always make me smile even when I am in a bad mood. They care so much for me as a person, not only as there student. The school of music here will always bring a smile to my face though, no matter the day, time, or year. Although i am not a music major any more and though they give me a hard time about it, I still live in that building most days. They were my first family when i came to school 3 years ago! (wow 3 years ago!! :o) They all hold a little piece of my heart and mean the word to me, all because they care about me as if i were there family. 


I love to sing and play guitar and piano! Music just soothes my soul... God gave us a heart to worship and maybe that is why it brings peace to my mind. I can be having the worst day of my life and then go to choir and sing and while I am there all of my problems just seem to vanish into thin air.. And as I sing I can feel the hands of God holing me in his arms. I may not be the greatest singer in the world but as long as it means something to God that is all that should matter. I love my sisters and my friends with all of my heart and i love to be with them! God has so graciously blessed me with so many amazing people in my life and such amazing parents. I know my life hasn't been the greatest but I know that God will use me and is using me to change lives. God is my reason to smile, because if it wasn't for Him I would be a live right now and if it wasn't for Him I wouldn't be saved with the reassurance that everything will be ok one day, for He has a plan for my life and is watching out for me! I also love photography and the ability God has given me to capture the beauty he creatively placed in this world. I see this place in a different way, a different view then most people. That in itself is a blessing strait form God showing me how much He really does care about me. =) Whoever created the idea of "photography" was plain genius, because it is such a huge tool that God uses to reveal to the "whole world" the glory and beauty of who He really is.


I am so very blessed to be alive and there are so many things in my life worth smiling for, I just have to remember them and learn to open my eyes more often to enjoy the little blessing in life, gifts sent form God to bring a smile to my face. =)


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Ok so i am 2 weeks behind.. everyone I am so sorry... Here is what last weeks journal was:


Week 6: Find a picture that describe how you are feeling right now and write about the picture. The picture can be one you('ve) took/taken or you can find it on the internet. I hope you all are doing well, have fun! 


God Bless! 
~Taylor~

Week 4- Aspirations

           I decided to extend this entry for another week because “Aspirations” is a hard subject to cover… I have been trying to figure out what I wanted from this entry, I know what I want to be when I grow up.. I have dreams, I have plans, I have ideas.. Sometimes that is all they are going to be.. but what do I really want for my life, how important do I really see myself as? Where do I see myself in the next 10 years? These are all really hard things for me to answer about myself..

I have been feeling very weak lately and have been letting Satin get into my thoughts and he has been getting a hold of me and telling me that I am not good enough, that I can’t do it, so I might as well just give up now.. I have been fighting that for a while trying to convince myself that its not true.. That I am worth fighting for, that JC gave up his life so that I may live and be happy!

After I chose this topic and began to really think about my aspirations I realized that I couldn’t write this post yet. I new what I was going to say.. I was going to say that I didn’t want to be here, that I just wanted to be with God, where there is no pain, no sorrow, no hurting at all! Only happiness for everyone! I kept thinking about how awesome Heaven is going to be and then I would look at the world and my life and it would make me want that happiness even more.. It has been a constant battle for me to get through this but God has been with me and continues to be with me.. He is trying to show me that there is beauty in the world and that it isn’t all sad and broken.. My photography is an example of that.. God has given me the ability to capture the beauty in the world, but the only problem is that it doesn’t change the circumstances that you or I are in.. I have to just continue to trust and rely on God that he does do all things for good and that He does have a plan and purpose for my life despite how much I am hurting or struggling right now.. With that being said here are my aspirations for my life:

I want to be happy and I want to change lives! I want my life to be an example of Gods forever-mighty power that shows how He can transform a life of brokenness to something whole and new! Something BEAUTIFUL!  I want people to look at my life and say, “I want what she has!” It is extremely hard for I’m sure every Christian to have that strong faith all the time.. We are all only human and cant be perfect.. (a little thing I am trying to work on…) I want to be alive and well with a husband and kids some day. I want my life to be worth something that is meaningful and can be passed on to the future generation! I want to be able to love myself the way I am and appreciate everything I’ve got!

On a side note: I am at school right now and I was freaking out about a stupid class… Which in the long run wont even matter in my life.. I was approaching this class with the feeling that I may not be able to do very well and I was so scared and wanted to escape… The fact that I am probably going to fall short of my standards really upset me because I already felt like a failure.. I am not perfect and want to be very badly, so dealing with this is hard for me, but it is good because I can grow from this experience... A good friend had to point out to me that it is just a class and that it is ok to get a C or even a B, its not like when your married and have a family your going to look back and think “oh my gosh because of that stupid class my life is miserable right now…” its not going to be that way at all.. so I need to just let it go and stop freaking out about that so much! Yes you need to try your hardest in everything you do, but if you are not perfect in everything, that is alright.. We are not perfect and cannot be. =)

I hope that in some way these journal entry’s are helping you! For me I can’t even tell you how much its been helping me out! I have been discovering so much stuff about myself that I never new before! It’s actually helping me a lot more then I thought I would! I hope you all have a great week and realize how blessed you are!!

With lots of love

~Taylor~

Next week Journal entry:

Week 5:

Think about the things in your life that make you smile, laugh, or just plain happy..  it can be a memory, inside joke, the picture of someone, or really anything that puts a smile on your face.. Ready.. get set.. have fun!!!

week 3- Who/what has had a major influence on your life?

I know this is going to sound cheesy and make me sound like a Jesus freak but I am ok with that.. The one person that has had the biggest influence in my life would have to be Jesus..  It is because of him that I keep fighting.. It is his loving character that gives me strength to say that I am a daughter of the King. He has helped me through so much in my life that I can't even begin to list and each time I mess up He takes me back, without thinking twice... He has and continues to teach me that its ok to hurt and ask for help, because "we" live in a broken world and WE are NOT perfect.. WE all need help.. this world wasn't made for us to go through it alone... He is teaching me that his grace is sufficient in my weakness no matter what, because He is the perfect replication of strength. He is what strength is all about.. If I didn't have Christ in my life I honestly don't know where I would be right now.. I know you probably hear people say that a lot of times but it is the truth.. It is because of him that I go to Wayland.. It is because of Him that I have a good relationship with my family.. It is because of Him that I continue to have faith in something I can't see... But I know He is there... I can feel Him all around me.. I can't make it through a day without Him..

The last couple of year or I guess my whole life I feel like I have continually been fighting for my life every single day and I know that if i didn't have the faith of a mustard seed when I was struggling or having doubts I would probably be dead by now... Its hard to admit that.. But God is my reason for life, He is the one who keeps me going.. He makes life worth living for and as long as He stays by my side (which I know darn well He will!) I know I can live for that!

I read Gods word and I see the way he treats people and the kind of people He chose to be with... It wasn't the rich and selfish.. it was the pour and broken who he donated all of His time towards.. I see that and then I look at our world today..
What do you see?
I see a world full of broken people who are searching for help and everyone just passes each other by without even thinking twice.. So consumed with there own issues that they forget that others are hurting as well..  Is that what God intended US as Christians to be like, to do? I don't think so... In the bible it says that when you become a Christian you become a "little Christ" which means that you are to act as Christ acted being a "little Christ". I want to be like Christ and live like He lived... Yes that requires caring my own "cross" but Christ did it for me so why can't I do it for Him.. I have to give up my whole life to fallow Him and if that gives me the greatest reward in the end, then bring it on because I know that Christ is my strength and He will pull me through anything/everything..

I want to live like Christ lived and change lives.. I want my eyes to be opened to the broken and hurting and I want my story to be used to transform lives and give them that mustard seek of hope that I had to cling to for so long.. Yes I am still broken and hurting but who isn't? We all are.. But I am done being consumed by my own pain... and I am done passing others by.. I want to be the light in the darkness.. I want to be a tool that God uses in someones life.. I want my words to touch YOUR heart and let you know that YOU are NOT a lone! I want to be that difference!

I know I am weak... I know I am struggling ALL the time.. I know that I am not good enough for this world... But that is ok because I KNOW that with Christ in my life He will be my strength in my weakness and He WILL take me back time and time again when I mess up... and I KNOW that although I am not good enough for this world, I am good enough for Him and that is ALL that should matter to me.. There is something far more greater for my life and although I don't know what it is right now, God knows and as long as I trust Him, lives will be touched and I will be that change, I will be that difference!

My faith hasn't always been this strong... Its taken A LONG time to get to this point.. and its still not that strong all the time.. But its because of all of the hardships I've gone through in my life, seeing the way He has helped me overcome it all and seeing his influence time and time again through out the bible, that He continues to have that positive influence in my life and continues to transform me and renews my faith everyday. It by all means is NOT easy at all.. It does take a lot of time and effort.. just like having a friendship with someone takes time and effort so does this... You can't have a good relationship with Christ if you don't spend time with Him and get to know Him...

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog... I hope that in some way what I have said has touched your heart and If you would like to talk to me or ask any questions please feel free to leave me a message or shoot me an email at ts6408@yahoo.com and Ill get back to you as soon as possible!

"you are beautifully and wonderfully made"
~Taylor~

Week 4-
What are your aspirations in life and why? Have fun!! =)

Week 2- Favorite memories growing up

Favorite Memories... 

At first, when I decide the topic for the week I was having a really hard time... I could not for the life of me think of something happy that stuck out from my life.. I know what you're thinking.. "how can you not think of something happy??" Well you see, this is exactly why I am doing this project! I have been so consumed with all of the hurt and pain from my past that it was starting to take over my mind, to the point that I couldn't even remember anything good about the last 21 years.. Once I started really thinking about my life, glimpses of happy memories began to reveal themselves from there hiding places. 

So... Are you ready for this.. are you ready to hit the road?? 

Traveling down memory lane, words fill my mind as they line the journey set before me.. Comforting, soothing words that brings joy to my mind.

~Night night~

When my twin sister and I were born my dad made up this little rhyme.. It goes like this: "Night night, Sleep tight, Love you, Love you more, Love you this much, Kisses, Night night." Every night my dad would come into our room and do this.. After every phrase we would repeat what he said.. When he said "I love you THIS much" We would through our arms out stretched wide trying to emphasize how much he really loved us, and when he said "kisses" we would blow kisses to my dad and he would catch them all.. Never letting one get away, and he would place them in his heart.. Every night we did this and it seemed to make everything feel so much better.. Even if the day was a nightmare everything seemed better because my dad still cared and loved us so much! Some times I think about this memory and really miss the warm comforting sound of his sweet words every night, sometimes wishing I could be a kid again... But that is why memories are so good! You can savor that moment forever! 

Growing up I never realized how much I was really loved... I honestly had no idea.. But now that I look back and remember the good times, I am starting to come to my senses...:)

~Late night talks~

haha This one always makes me smile... Im sure ALL of you know what I am talking about!! It's those "late night talks" that you say you will NEVER forget about! As you already know, I have a twin sister.. She is the most amazing person alive and that is just being nice...:) But anyways... When we were children Jordan and I always had a bunk bed.. Jordan got top and I got bottom... Every night after my dad did "night nights" Jordan would beg me to come up to the top bunk with here.. Every night she asked me to do 1 of 2 things... Either Sing her a song or make up a story... For some reason this helped her fall asleep at night.. (at least I think it did.. If not I don't know why else she would want me to do that every night..:)) So being the good sister that I am, every night I would climb up to her bunk and make up a silly story and/or sing her a song.. It was always so nice to feel needed even though I really wanted to just go to sleep!! We had many late nights like this.. trying to see who could stay up the longest (which she always won at... :/) But, hey what can I say.. I like me some sleep! Being "all grown up" kind've sucks some times i must admit... Jordan is now married and has her own life and I am gone away at school the majority of the year.. so we don't have many late night talks/hang outs any more.. It does make me sad but it makes me glad to see how we have grown over the years.. And plus there will always be plenty of late night talks to come in the future.. :D

~DUN DUN DUN...... The evil stepmother~

What is the first thing that pops into your head when you here this?? Ready GO!! 

ok.. well what your thinking is wrong... 

Yes I have a step mom... but, she isn't as evil as evil stepmothers can be... This isn't as the original fairy tale kind of story.. But it is a story..

When my dad and step mom sat my sisters and I down to tell us what was going on my dad starts off by saying.. "Children.. I have been searching all around town to find the perfect "evil stepmother" for you and I think I finally found her!" We all kind of laughed and ever since then the name has stuck.. Every time I get a letter at school from my step mom, in the "from" line on the envelope it'll read "evil step mother" and on the inside of the card it would say: Love always the evil stepmother.. Its pretty hilarious if you ask me because the expressions on peoples faces when they hear me talk about my step mom that way are just priceless.. Every where we would go whether to a school meeting, meet the teacher, friends.. anything, my step mom would introduce herself as just that. "hello I am the evil stepmother.." 

~Hailee and I~

Hailee is my adorable niece... She will six on the 24th of this month.. I can't believe how big she is ALREADY.. Her and I have a special bond together.. Im not sure why that is but we make a great team! When she was a baby my sister Kendis (Hailee's mom) would only let me watch Hailee out of all of my other sister.. when it came time for a nap... she had the hardest time falling asleep because there was just way to much going on and of course she didn't want to miss anything... so I would take her into the pantry hallway and shut the doors on both sides and just sit on the floor in the dark rocking her back and forth until she finally fell asleep... when she got a little older my sister moved out and got her own place with her little family and she would bring Hailee over to the house every morning at around 630 so that she could go to work.. Almost every morning my niece would crawl into bed with me and just cuddle until it was time for me to get up and get ready for school.. But of course with a little one entering an already warm bed the person in the bed always gets the shocking experience of cold feet... haha she always put her cold piggy toes on me because she thought it was funny to see me jump or freak out! For a couple of years we had this morning ritual and I honestly really miss those morning with here a lot.. 

~Singing silly songs~

I am kind of musically inclined.. not a lot but kind of.. I play guitar and something that I do often to cheer myself up is being goofy and playing silly songs.. Random songs about lonely shoes in my closet the never get used.. or about break lunch and dinner including everything in between (brunch, lupper, and even brinner) My roommate got a kick out of this the last year and a half.. her and I would sing the craziest things but you know what?? I didn't really care because, well it was fun!:) occasionally when I am starting to feel down i just pull out my guitar and do just that.. sing something silly that will brighten my mood.

~Bag Pipes~

This is one of my most favorite memories... My whole life, or at least the last 21 years, I have had to opportunity to hear my grandpa McDonald play the bag pipes.. He was the most amazing bag piper I've ever heard in my life... I am not just saying that because he was my grandma, I am saying that because it is the truth!! Every year he would fly from FL to AZ and we would always make sure he had those pipes of his or he would be in trouble with all of his grandkids! There was just nothing like hearing him play.. He played at my step mom and dads wedding and when i was in elementary school he came to my school and played for my whole grade, which was really awesome!! He even whore a kilt and everything else that went with it. The kids just laughed and said!  "oh my gosh that guy is wearing a skirt... O_o" Then I would have to explain that it wasn't really a skirt but a kilt and that all Scottish bag pipers wear them, its apart of the heritage! My grandpa recently just passed away and it aches my heart to think that I wont ever get to see him play again.. But one great thing is that hopefully some day ill be able to carry on the tradition of the bag pipes in my family and learn to play just like him! My grandma said that if I want to carry on this for the family that she would give me my grandpas pipes which would mean a lot me but would be scary as well.. I know I will never be as good as he was but just the fact that I could try and do this for my family makes my heart happy.. My grandpa was one of the most amazing men i've got to know and I am so blessed to have been able to have him for so long!

Well travelers.. I hope the trip wasn't to long and that you all enjoyed your tour of Memory Lane! Until next time.. Enjoy!:) 

P.s week 3 journal entry is:

Who/what has had a major influence in your life? Make sure it is a positive influence and most importantly Have FUN!!! =)

Week 1 "what is Beauty"

Rules: 
You can not include anything regarding body shape, weight, size ect.. Some where on the page you must include the worlds "You are beautifully and wonderfully made" This is Gods promise to us.. He thinks highly of every single one of us.. and that is something I want you to always remember! 


ok.. What is beauty?  
To be quite honest this is a really hard topic for me to answer... I have always struggled with this idea.. "am I beautiful?" I think a lot of people, especially girls struggle with this concept because of the way the world portrays the word "beauty". With how often it is shoved in our faces we tend to forget the "true" meaning of this word... They way God really intended us to see ourselves.. Here is my thoughts and feelings.. 


"I am beautifully and wonderfully made" 


What makes me beautiful? 


I have a pretty smile
a beautiful heart
loving spirit
silly laugh
pretty brown curly hair
an encouraging personality
I give great hugs (i LOVE hugs)
i love everyone.. 
I want to help everyone I can get my hands on
I am to nice for my own good..
I can play musical instruments
I speak from my heart..


With the help of friends and family this is the list I have come up with... There are more, but this is the shorter version.. All of these are characteristics about myself that makes me a beautiful person.. I actually think that it is kind of sad that it took me all week and assistance from others to find things in myself that makes me a "beautiful person". But that is why I am doing this.. To find out things that I didn't know before.. Looks like its working! :) 


Now lets look at Gods perspective on Beauty... Here are some verses to keep in mind the next time you try to say "your not beautiful".. No matter how you feel about yourself you are beautiful in Gods eyes and that is the only thing that matters!

Psalm 139:14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

What it means: You are created in the image of God, and God doesn't make junk! Like a snowflake, every person is unique. No two are the same. God sees you as a masterpiece; and when you look in the mirror, He wants you to "know that full well." Try this beauty tip: Every morning when you look in the mirror, say Psalm 139:14 and smile. You might even tape the verse on your mirror as a reminder!

1 Samuel 16:7

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

What it means: The world focuses on what people look like on the outside. God focuses on what people look like on the inside. Do you put more time and effort into being pretty on the outside or the inside? As you get older, you will meet Christian girls who spend more time trying to find the perfect outfit, get the perfect tan, find the perfect lip gloss, and have the perfect body. While there's nothing wrong with wanting to look pretty, we need to make sure it's in balance. God would rather see us work on becoming drop-dead gorgeous on the inside. You know, the kind of girl who talks to Him on a regular basis (prayer) and reads her Bible.

Proverbs 31:3

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

What it means: Beauty fades with age, so if you are more concerned with your outer appearance, you will be unhappy when the wrinkles come and the number on the scale goes up. In fact, did you know that your body may show the beginning signs of aging as early as age twenty? That is why God wants us to "fear" Him. That doesn't mean to be afraid of Him but rather to be in awe of Him and all that He has done. Let me put it to you this way. If you stand two girls next to each other and one is Miss Teen USA whose beauty is limited to physical beauty, and the other young lady is a more average-looking girl who loves the Lord more than anything, she is the more beautiful girl in the eyes of God.

1 Peter 3:3-4

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

What it means: This does not mean it's wrong to braid your hair or wear nice clothes and jewelry. The verse was written to warn women not to follow the customs of some of the Egyptian women who, during that time period, spent hours and hours working on their hair, makeup, and finding the perfect outfit. God would rather see women work on becoming beautiful on the inside — the kind of beauty that lasts forever.

1 Timothy 4:8

Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is much more important, for it promises a reward in both this life and the next.

What it means: Exercising and staying in shape is a good thing, but God expects us to stay in shape spiritually by reading our Bibles, praying, and going to church on a regular basis. In other words, there will be plenty of people who put their time and effort into staying in shape but who are out of shape spiritually. If they don't know Jesus Christ, their perfect bodies won't get them through the gates of heaven.

Just a few ideas on how to look at yourself in a different way!! Instead of analyzing yourself every time you look in the mire.. try telling yourself that "you are beautifully and wonderfully made" Remind yourself that you are "Beautiful" in Gods eyes no matter what.. That is the only thing that matters because that is the real truth!

Stay tuned in for next weeks journal entry!:) 

"YOU are Beautiful!!" :-)

Encouragement Journal

What is encouragement?? I have had a really rough time in the last couple of years trying to keep myself encouraged.. Don't get me wrong I mean I know how to encourage people.. just not always myself.. So I decided to start an encouragement journal! ha! that'll show you Mr sad face!! :P

So. . this journal will be filled with lovely messages of joy and happiness so that every time I look at it, Ill be encouraged and remember how beautiful my life really is... despite all of my trials and sad days... Some times I get so consumed with the hard times that I forget that there really are good things going on in my life as well.. Thus the point of my journal..

As you all know.. "WE" are all human and we are all struggling with something... negative thoughts, bad attitudes, self harm, depression, self esteem, loneliness, stress, fear... The list can go on and on.. But my point is, we are all needing encouragement for we are only "human" and NOT perfect! Anyone interested in participating in this with me are more then welcome to jump on in at any time!

Assignment:
Every Monday ill introduce a new topic to journal.. You can do any type of journal..  a photo journal, written journal (on paper or blog) or really whatever else you can think of, will be fine as long as you address the topic that is assigned! This is to help you dig deeper inside and help you find who you are and how you really feel! Not every week will be a hard serious topic but expect to be challenged! If anyone has a topic in mind please feel free to through it out there! I am open for idea!

Today is the start of the second week. Here are the first 2 weeks entry's

Week 1 Journal entry topic (last weeks entry): "what is beauty?"
Week 2 Journal entry topic (this week) "what is your favorite memory growing up?"

My hope for this is the help you grow in yourself and to help you discover how beautiful your life really is.. My hope is that when you are feeling "down in the dumps" so to say.. that you will have something to turn to that will encourage you despite how horrible you feel! Good luck and Have fun!! :D

"You are Beautifully and Wonderfully made!"

At The Foot Of The Cross

At The Foot Of The Cross

By Taylor McDonald

Here I come, standing in your presence

Were victory was won,

By death you rose again

I stand at the foot of the cross.

I come offering nothing

Nothing but my faults and failures

Nothing but insecurities and mindless things

Nothing that could possibly matter.

But each time you take me back

Each time you show me you care

Trading these worthless things

For treasure and gold

A crown that shows that I am yours.

Standing at the foot of the cross

I’m made whole

Though it was my sin that placed you there

You still care.

I give everything back to you

Placing it in your hands

For without you I am nothing.

At the foot of the cross I go

Holding nothing back,

Letting things go!

The Journey

Who knows where life will take you. The road is long, but in the end, the journey is the destination." -Coach Whitey Durham

When you look at this picture how does it make you feel??

• When I look at this picture It makes me feel that although the road may be long, some times empty and un predicting, the reword in the end is worth the hardships and trials. If we would stop looking at our feel or just ahead of us we would always remember that everything we go through in life has a purpose and the reword is greater then the journey there. In this picture look at how beautiful the end of the bridge leads you to. There are lots of people, water and fun! Just because the road your on seems long, doesn't mean that the reword is never coming. Keep looking up and never forget that there is something far more greater for your life then the situations your presently in! You are loved by so many, especially by God and He has a plan for your life! 

Please feel free to comment and let me know what feeling this picture places in your mind. There are no right or wrong answers so feel free to dig deep and really think about how you truly feel. Most importantly don't forget to have fun and be creative! 

Have a great day!:)

Life

Have you ever felt like life appears to hard to handle? Some times I feel that way, but God promises us that He is always there to help us. What we can't do He can! Never loose hope!:)